What not to say to a solo female hiker

I hike and travel alone frequently. In fact, if I didn’t, I would rarely get to hike or travel at all. 98% of the time, my interactions with others while hiking solo are positive. But every so often, I have an experience or get asked a question that really makes me feel uncomfortable, unsafe, or just annoyed. Frankly, I’m tired of seeing articles discussing how solo female hikers can stay safe instead of articles on how to create an environment that makes women feel comfortable and respected in the outdoors. So without further ado, here are ten things you - yes you, Brad - shouldn’t say to a solo female hiker.

*As a side note, these were created from the perspective of a cis, straight, thin-ish, white female hiker; there are challenges and assumptions faced by LGBTQ+ hikers, fat hikers, and hikers of color that aren’t even broached here so please keep that in mind as well!

"Are you by yourself?"

Despite an increasing representation of women in outdoors marketing, solo female hikers are still seen as a rarity. So while this question likely stems from honest curiosity, it can put female hikers in an uncomfortable spot when this question is asked by a male. I came across a male hiker once who asked me this question and then walked it back saying, “Actually never mind, you don’t have to answer that.” I really appreciated his recognition of the vulnerable position that question put me in. The unfortunate truth is that, while solo male hikers only have to worry about bears and general wilderness safety, solo female hikers have to worry about that in addition to being mindful of the people sharing the trail.

"Aren’t you worried about ____ ?"

Honestly, the answer is probably yes. Fear and worry are a normal part of life, but they shouldn’t always stop you from doing what you love. Preparation and knowledge is power, and I can handle the vast majority of things that may come my way.

"Does your boyfriend/dad/mother know you hike alone?"

- or worse -

"Do they let you hike out here all by yourself?"

Asking a grown ass woman if she got “permission” from her parents or significant other to do something she enjoys is really insulting and sexist. Also, stop assuming that every woman you see in the outdoors is cis and straight.

"Where are you camping tonight?"

I feel like this doesn’t need much explanation. 9 times out of 10 if I give an answer, it will be a straight up lie or something very vague. If you’re genuinely looking for area camping tips, try asking her if she has any camping spot recommendations.

“Oh cool! Enjoy it while you can!”

This is a super common response I get when I tell people that I’m solo hiking. The underlying sentiment is, “Enjoy it while you’re young, childfree, and burden-less.” It’s very well-meaning and usually comes from a place of respect for what we're doing. But I find it sad that people seem to have this impression that getting married or having children means that you have to give up your passions. I know lots of badass moms and married/partnered women who make the time to get outdoors and do the things they love, whether on their own or with their families. Also just because someone is hiking alone doesn’t mean that they are single, and just because someone is young and childless doesn’t mean that their life is without burden.

Any comment about her body or appearance

Complimenting her trekking poles or hiking finesse is fine, complimenting her eyes is not. Nothing makes me search for exit strategies faster than a man making an unsolicited comment on my body while outdoors.

Don’t invite yourself along

Even if you are having a great conversation with her, please don’t assume that she now wants you to join her on her hike. It can create an uncomfortable situation where the woman now has to decide between hiking with a stranger in the woods vs “rejecting” a stranger in the woods. Wait until she asks you if you want to join her, and if she doesn’t, move on and enjoy the rest of your hike.

"Do you carry a gun or knife?"

First off, that’s none of your business. No, I don’t carry a weapon, but I do have bear spray and that shit burns. Secondly, that question is based off of the incorrect assumption that the outdoors is a dangerous place for a woman to be alone. In fact, as a woman, I am safer alone in the wilderness than I am on a city street or a grocery store. Take a moment and think about why you made the snap judgement that I should carry a weapon but not the solo male hiker you passed twenty yards back.

"Oh, you’re hiking alone? Is this like a Wild thing?"

No disrespect to Cheryl Strayed, but not every solo hike is a journey to find one’s self. Sometimes a hike is just a hike.

Unsolicited advice in general

I don’t want your unsolicited suggestions on how to hike, use my gear, etc. Advice I DO want are tips for the hike ahead, i.e. that the next water source is the last for a while, or the patch of snow ahead is actually a cornice. A good rule of thumb is that if you wouldn’t offer this advice to a male hiker, don’t offer it to a female hiker.

Long story short, if you want to say something to the woman passing you on the trail, take a moment and think about how it may be received. Sometimes a simple, "Hello! Enjoy your hike!" is all that needs to be said.

A few pics from some of my favorite solo adventures!